Many London based Sunderland fans are members of the London Branch of the Sunderland AFC Supporters Club. The London Branch produces a newsletter, for many years '5573' by name. The following cover was submitted when a name and cover change was proposed. The newsletter editor(s) regularly ask (plead!) for contributions. The following cartoon strip which I submitted was quietly shelved, apparently for being too controversial and they didn't want to upset the club. A few years later some in the London Branch put an inordinate amount of effort into ridding the club of it's most successful manager since World War Two. Nothing controversial there, then.

Some explanatory notes - Arbogast, knowing of two other arbogasts I was keen to 'create' a third for the sheer pleasure of compiling a 'Round Britain Quiz' style question based on them. - Pop Robson & Dick Malone, two of SAFC's favourite baldies. - Millfield, where the one-time Sunderland chairman Tom Cowie began a business in dodgy cars and motorbikes (being known to tie parts together with string (Can you believe this?) and disguising it with grease!). The man, a prominent Conservative Party supporter is now Sir Tom Cowie. - Stoke City, a club renowned some years ago for specializing in low scoring and boring games. - Kevin Arnott, a massively over-rated player whose lack of effort cost us far more points than his very occasional brilliance ever won us. Went on to 'greater things' with Sheffield United and Bury! A great favourite with Cowie. - ...the one in Durham, Durham Jail. - Grays and Smiths, at one time Sunderland had on their books Anthony Smith, Martin Smith, Martin Gray, Michael Gray and Phil Gray, and were trying to sign another Gray (Stuart Gray?). - Alan Spleen, BBC's Alan Green - a dreadful commentator, simply dreadful. That's appalling. - Vinny Jones, a footballer with an 'uncompromising' approach to the game. Because the strip was shelved nothing beyond the first half of episode six was produced, hence the following never saw the light of day - Sunderland's record signing ('Certainly in terms of size.' 'Indeed yes, the entire South African town of Ladysmith.'). - The five Brainded triplets - Virgil, Alan, Scott, John and Gordon. - Ace striker Darren Pickspot, scorer of 6 goals only whilst playing with Sunderland, all of them own goals, subsequently out on loan to a series of clubs for which he never scores, except against...... Sunderland. - Trainer Elvis Pratt and his chemically induced fantasies, brought on by injecting sugar puffs soaked in brown ale. - Team mates (Little) Jason Diver, Damian Parlatic, Jesmond Dene (a big girl's blouse), Jamie Nylon, Grant Rayon, Troy Lycra and central defenders with wonderful hairstyles and matching handbags Vyvyan Trelawny Brutethug and Justin Montague Scumspit. - Players Agent Philophax Porsche (pronounced porch), large cigar, permanently on several mobile phones, a serially loquacious mispronouncer - niche (nitch), clique (click), cachet (catchett), nous (noose), poseur (poser), in other words a complete poser. - The variation on 'Sing your hearts out for the Lads.', 'Catch pneumonia for the Lads.' - The Ponce of Darkness, Wim Coote. - The mighty tunnelling machine, powered by the exhaust gasses of 50,000 gerbils fed exclusively on parsnip soup, and tied together with string. - The other Ponce of Darkness, Surgeon Awl, 'Why, even if A am thick A still think A shud be in chorge, like.' - The 'Chrismas Tree' formation, the 'Easter Bunny' formation, the 'Shrove Tuesday Pancake' formation and the 'April Fool' formation. All stories for which the world is not yet prepared. Some of the content of the strip was lifted from the SUNGG newsletter strip 0Contents000Back to 'Biography' 0The other index000Thumb other index

When Roy Keane was appointed manager of Sunderland I felt honour bound to remove the following content. Now that he has resigned as manager I can repost it - and here it will stay (or at least until Alan Shearer is appointed manager of Sunderland!) (Who said anything about Hell freezing over? - You wouldn't joke about it if you'd ever experienced a North-East winter!) Some years ago I was enjoying a pint of Newcastle Brown Ale before an away match, when a fellow Sunderland supporter pointed at the bottle and asked if I was happy to be subsidising our nearest rival's sponsor. Feigning surprise I examined the bottle "Well I never; you're absolutely right." I said, reading from the label "It says here 'Newcastle Brown Ale; proud sponsors of the Newcastle Comedy Festival' - mind, that's a funny name for a football club! Still I suppose they know best." As followers of football will understand supporters of Sunderland are constant admirers of Newcastle United and particularly of their one time centre forward, the leg end that is Alan Shearer. Another player much admired by Sunderland fans was Manchester United's Roy Keane. Imagine then the sadness and regret felt by so many Sunderland fans at the dismissal of the ever gracious Keane following a bout of fisticuffs with the sainted Shearer. These pictures from national newspapers were passed to me by a work colleague. Prompted to redress the balance by the unflattering nature of such coverage I produced the following. GIRLS' BIGG NEET OOT (There are some who scurrilously suggest that the Bigg Market in Newcastle is a popular haunt of 'ladies of the night' But I'm sure that such a picturesque not to say pristine thoroughfare can't possibly be associated with that kind of activity.)

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