P** P* B**** B** D******
Flanders & Swann

Ma's out, Pa's out, Let's talk rude!
Pee Po Belly Bum Drawers.
Dance in the garden in the nude,
Pee Po Belly Bum Drawers.
Let's write rude words all down our street,
Stick out our tongues at the people we meet,
Let's have an intellectual treat
Pee Po Belly Bum Drawers.

Sunday again on CBC,
Pee Po Belly Bum Drawers.
And Norman Mailer is coming to tea,
Pee Po Belly Bum Pants!
Alan Ginsberg reads on and on,
But we're having a happening when he's gone,
Come to the party in the john,
Pee Po Belly Bum Drawers.

Disney's planning a double bill,
Pee Po Belly Bum Drawers.
Christopher Robin meets Fanny Hill,
Pooh Bear Belly Bum Drawers.
On stage and screen we can all work hard,
Throwing toilet rolls in our own backyard,
Who's afraid of the avant-garde?
Pee Pee Po Po Belly Belly Bum Bum, Pee Po Belly Bum Drawers.

What gets the prizes and wins awards?
Pee Po Belly Bum Drawers.
What did Prince Phillip tell the Lords?
Well, never mind that.
At Oxford and Cambridge, and Yale and all,
and at Berkely, they really have a ball,
'cos the higher the brow, the harder they fall,
For Belly Belly Bum Bum Belly Belly Bum Bum Pee Po Belly Belly Bum Bum, Pee Po Belly Bum Drawers.

In the days before the internet, when I used to trudge around the London contemporary art galleries trying to find exhibition space, I lost count of the number of smug, plummy-voiced gallery owners who with great disdain struggled to give even a couple of seconds attention to the first image I showed them before announcing that it wasn't the sort of thing they dealt with, and bringing the reluctantly granted interview to a swift close.

It seems that they look favourably on those with a 'name', or a liking for trendy, pretentious spiel, or a leaning towards outrage.

That isn't however the only reason for coming to the conclusion that much of the so-called 'avant-garde' is little other than the idiot offspring of the wealthy 'rebelling' against their comfortable backgrounds.

For the record I only ever encountered two gallery owners, one in Manchester and one in London who LOOKED at the images.

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